Graham Ryan Cavanah...A Birth Story

*Warning...Instead of breaking this up into two separate posts, I decided just to write out the whole story here...so beware, it is long...and picture overload :) 

To start Graham's birth story, we actually have to back up to my 39 week OB appointment on Thursday, January 30th. Since it was my last appointment before my due date, my doctor decided to check my cervix to see if any progress had been made. Unfortunately, there was absolutely nothing going on to suggest that Graham would be making his appearance anytime soon. We chatted over some options if I were to go past my due date and my doctor had me schedule a biophysical profile ultrasound for the next Tuesday (my due date) to make sure Graham was still happy and thriving. Everyone in my doctors office was hoping that I wouldn't make it to my Tuesday appointment and that the Super bowl would kick things into gear. ;)

Despite our awesome win, the Seahawk's were not able to get Graham to want to come out, so on Tuesday, February 4th, we headed to our ultrasound to check out the little guy. Everything looked great on the ultrasound, however they estimated that he weighed around 9 lbs 9oz....that is one big baby! Shortly after my ultrasound I got a call from my doctor asking if  I was open to discussing other options of delivery....namely cesarean section. I chatted quickly with my doctor, then called Noah, then called my doctor back to schedule an appointment for the next day to discuss our options in person. On Wednesday morning I went in for a stress test to check on Graham and discuss my options with my doctor. We talked about the pros and cons of attempting to deliver a big baby vaginally and we decided that a c-section would be the safest option. So we officially scheduled the surgery and I left that office knowing that we were going to meet our baby boy in 3 days!

The next few days were crazy; lots of last minute cleaning and packing, repacking to accommodate this big guy and re-cleaning to accommodate my OCD cleaning habits. ;)

On Friday morning we woke up super excited! I wasn't nervous at all! My mom came by to pick up Hannah and I jumped in the shower and took my time getting ready. Finally at 11:30am Noah and I hoped in the car and headed to Overlake Hospital in Bellevue. I literally wasn't nervous at all until we stepped off the elevator onto the 6th floor of the Women's Hospital. We checked in and were brought back to our room to get started on pre-op stuff. 

I changed into my operating gown (managed to get one last picture of my baby bump before changing!) and got hooked up to my IV and heating system. My surgery wasn't actually scheduled to start until 2pm, so the next two hours were incredibly nerve racking. I went over tons of paper work with the nurses, met with my OB and went over last minute surgery details, met with the anesthesia team, and tried to pass the time chatting with family. Our support team for the day consisted of my parents, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and of course our sweet Hannah. The ironic thing about all of this was that while I was hooked up to the monitors, I started having contractions. I couldn't feel them at first, but the nurses told me they were about 2-3 minutes apart. By the time I went into surgery I was definitely feeling them and could tell that they were progressively getting stronger. So funny, that regardless of how he was born, February 7th was probably going to be his birthday anyways. 

Last picture of the belly! 40 weeks 4 days

My sweet girl being goofy! 

Last picture as a family of three! 

Noah in his "breaking bad" get up

Chatting with the nurse

I have the sweetest girl who likes to hold my hand whenever she thinks I'm in pain...she even held my hand in an eyebrow waxing appointment ;) 

I love her

Finally we got the word that the OR was clear and we were ready to head back. We said our goodbyes and walked ourselves into the OR. The second we stepped into the OR, I had a moment of panic. It looked exactly like any OR I've seen on T.V. and I think the enormity of what was about to happen really hit me. In a matter of minutes I was about to bring another sweet little into the world and become a mom of TWO! 

The anesthetist had me sit on the table so he could administer my spinal and I have to admit that this was my one moment of breaking down. There were about a billion nurses (okay, more like 7) running around the room getting things set up, the room was freezing, I could see my OB "scrubbing in", and I was very aware that I was about to have a very large needle poked into my back.  It was all just super overwhelming, no matter how long I had tried to mentally prepare myself. I cried for about 2 minutes and then pulled myself together with the help of Noah and a very sweet nurse who literally let me cry on her shoulder. Then it was time for the spinal!

Honestly, the numbing shots before the spinal were the worst part of the WHOLE procedure. They sting like a biotch and made me grip Noah's hands to the point where I probably was cutting off circulation. However, the stinging didn't last long and then I only felt the pressure of the needle going in for the spinal. Before I knew it, the whole process was over and they were immediately laying me down because I started losing feeling in my legs that fast. 

Everything seemed to slow down after that. I just laid there, comfortably aware that I couldn't feel anything from my ribs down and trying to focus on my breathing. (The nurses prepped me ahead of time that some women hate the feeling of a spinal because the numbness makes it feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest and you have a hard time breathing....it totally does feel like that, and I was so thankful that they gave me a heads up beforehand because I just reminded myself that it was normal and that I would be just fine).

Before I knew it my OB was "pinching" me to test my numbness and when I said I couldn't feel anything he started! I honestly only felt pressure every now and then. At one point I looked up at the lights above the operating table and realized I could see my reflection...I immediately jerked my head to look at Noah because I definitely did not want to catch a glimpse of what was going on and risk a total freak out. The nurses and anesthetist did a wonderful job of letting me know what was going on the whole time which really kept me calm. 

About 10 minutes into the surgery my OB asked if I was ready to meet our baby boy! I said "definitely" and he said "good, because he'll be here in 30 seconds." And the next thing I heard (at 2:50 pm) was a gasp from a nurse and a "oh my goodness, his cheeks!!!" and I immediately started laughing because that sounded just like my son. Apparently I only make chubby cheeked kiddos. ;) Dr. Haines lifted Graham up over the curtain for me to see and I was a crying mess. He was so sweet and just perfect and all I wanted to do was hold him. The nurses took him to the warmer to clean him up, weigh him and get his footprints and Noah went over to get pictures and get prepped for skin to skin. I couldn't believe that after 9 long months, our little Graham was here! He was 8 lbs 11 oz and 20.5 inches long. So only slightly bigger than his big sister. Soon enough, Noah came back to sit next to me and he had our little baby Graham against his chest. I was able to just stare at him in Noah's arms for the next 20 minutes while they finished up my surgery and then we were being taken back to our post-op room. 

I LOVE his little pouty lip in this picture. Makes me just want to snuggle him into a million pieces

In our post-op room the nurse immediately unwrapped Graham and handed him to me so I could do some skin to skin bonding with him and start nursing. I was so over the moon happy to be able to hold him! It's amazing how little newborns are (and how easy it is to forget how little they are!) I counted all his perfect fingers and toes and kissed every little inch of his body. 

The next 48 hours were such a whirlwind. When I think back to those two days in the hospital, it seems like such a blur. My absolute favorite memories are of watching Hannah and Graham interact with each other (or more Hannah interact with Graham), holding and snuggle Graham and getting to know him and his personality (even from those first few hours we decided that Hannah was most likely going to be our sassafrass drama queen and Graham was going to be our chill baby), and growing even closer with Noah as we bonded even more over the birth of our new sweet baby boy. 

Graham, I am so proud and blessed to be the one picked to be your Mama. From the minute you arrived, I have loved every little bit of you. I'm already so proud of you and celebrate every thing you do. I can't wait to see the little boy you turn into, but in the meantime, I am enjoying all of these precious moments. I love you sweet boy.

Love, Mama

Introducing....Graham Ryan Cavanah!

As most of you know, our little bundle of love has arrived! He made his debut on Friday, February 7th at 2:50 pm via a planned c-section. He weighed in at 8 lbs 11 oz and was 20.5 inches long. He is 100% perfect and my heart burst into a million pieces when the doctor lifted him over the curtain for me to see him. I am working on his birth story and plan to have that posted this week! For now, I am just soaking up every single second with this little man! 

Valentine's Day

Ever since finding out that Baby #2 was a boy, I have been obsessed with finding coordinating outfits for Hannah and G to wear. Hannah is now into toddler sizes (2T and sometimes 3T) so it's not quite as easy as it would be if she was still in baby sizes. But my first challenge was figuring out their Valentine's Day wear. 

It will be our first official holiday as a family of four, and even though G will be anywhere between 3 weeks to 1 week old (please baby, G...don't go past due date!!) it was really important to me to fully celebrate this holiday. First step....coordinating outfits. 

I shopped at my two favorite stores for baby/toddler clothes, Gap and Old Navy, and I am so happy with what I picked up. Can't wait to see these two cuties in their Valentine's Day outfits! 

Cupid Sweatshirt, Baby Boy Jeans, Valentine's Day Socks, Rosette Shirt, Heart Skirt, Heart Tights, Ballet Flats

I am a little obsessed with G's cupid sweatshirt. I kind of despise the overly cheesy Valentine's Day clothes (think, Dr. Love, etc)...so I was happy that I found outfits that are Valentine's Day, but don't scream cheesy. I am having so much fun buying boy clothes and I'm not going to lie...I kind of love coordinating outfits, so you can bet your tiny hiney's that my kiddos will always be matching. ;) 

Next step is finding goodies to fill their Valentine's Day baskets! Eeek...I love celebrating holidays with kiddos. It's so much fun to be on this side of things!

Hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday! One more day until the weekend! 

Happy Tuesday!

Happy Tuesday, friends! I've been busy tying up some loose ends over here...I meant to blog more last week, but completing tasks on my to-do list had first priority. 

First and foremost....I am OFFICIALLY done with school! I mentioned it briefly in my last bump update post, but didn't go into details. My thesis was accepted and given a "pass"...I actually cried, I was so happy! I've already received my diploma in the mail, and I am currently being processed to receive my certificate. I always imagined this day, and it always seemed so out of reach...but I am just so, so, so happy that I don't have it hanging over my head anymore! Thank you to my good friend, Kari for taking the time out of her busy life to be my scholarly editor. I appreciated your help so much, Kar!! 

With that happy news out of the way, let me share what we've been up to! 

On Thursday evening, I had a Mom's Night Out with my lovely PEPS Momma's. It was kind of a last night out before adding more babies into our group. Three of us are pregnant, and all due within two weeks of each other...so things are about to get pretty busy in our group! I had a blast though; it was great to get out of the house and out of "mommy-mode"...I even used my old purse that I haven't used in 19.5 months! ;) 

On Friday, Hannah and I ran around town running errands and then had a super low key night. Noah had plans with his friends, so it was a bubble bath and a new book, kind of night for me. I started Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and it is amazing! I can hardly put it down! And I have to say, it feels SO good to be able to read for fun without feeling guilty about having school work to do. ;) 

We had a pretty productive Saturday...getting a lot of last minute items ticked off of our to-do list. We officially finished the nursery with paint touch-ups, steaming the curtains, adding a light bulb to the lamp, vacuuming and dusting. The only thing we have left to do is order some prints for his frames once we arrives. I seriously can't wait to show you all how it turned out...I'm pretty proud of it. I also finished packing all our bags and put them in the car...and finished making our nurses gifts! I dropped the ball on nurse gifts last time and I loved all of our nurses and felt so bad that I didn't have anything to say "thank you!". This time around I just put together a little basket of peanut (and plain) M&M's with a note that says "Thank you for taking care of our little peanut". 

Saturday night we had the first (of three!!!!) after-holiday Amazon work parties. We dropped our little munchkin off at Grammy and Pappy's for a few hours and trecked our way into Seattle. The party was at Century Link and it was super fun to see all the Seahawks and 12th man decorations put up for the NFC Championship. The party was fun....but crowded and hot. The decor was gorgeous, with a "Arctic" theme...everything was decorated in actual ice. I couldn't stop touching it all! It was pretty funny to see how everyone reacted to my hugely pregnant self...even Noah noticed. Women would immediately look at my belly and then make eye contact and smile, and most men would see my belly and then give me a "wide berth", as Noah put it. I am going to miss this part of pregnancy...everyone is just so nice to you. Holding doors open, letting you go first, giving up seats, not staring as you eat two large turkey sandwiches in five minutes.....;) Anyways, we had a blast, but I was excited to pick up our sweet girl and climb into bed. 

Sunday was a lazy day for us. I outdid myself on Friday and Saturday and was definitely feeling it by Sunday. Noah took over toddler care and I pretty much napped all day until the Seahawks game. Did everyone watch?! It was definitely a nail biter...I tend to get super into football...and after that match up, I am surprised I didn't go into labor! I have to say....I am not a fan of the 49er's and I am SO happy that we won. For the second time in my lifetime, I get to watch my team in the Superbowl! How lucky are we?! 

This is her "cheeeeeese" smile :) 

Great weekend all around and minus making some freezer meals and doing one more deep clean, I feel totally prepared for little Mister to make his arrival.....any day! 

Bump Update: 37 Weeks!

37 Weeks! 

How far along? Oh me, oh my! 37 weeks and full term baby! I absolutely can't believe we are here. This is the 'pins and needles' part of pregnancy. :) 

Size and growth of Baby? Baby G is a whopping 6.3 pounds and 19.25 inches long. My OB's nurse practitioner thinks we might be looking at a slightly smaller baby...by the way I am carrying him, she thinks he's about 5 pounds right now. My OB however, thinks that IF we go to term (yes, there is an 'if') ;) that G will be slightly bigger than Hannah was...so we're talking in the 8 pound range. Doable. 
Maternity Clothes? Hardly even those....I do HAVE to buy a maternity dress this week...Noah's work does AFTER Christmas Holiday parties and we have one every weekend for the next few weekends here. It absolutely kills me to have to buy a maternity dress this late in the game. I will wear it exactly 3 times. Grrrrrr.
Weight Gain? I'm about 30 pounds up. If I gain 1 more pound for every week I have left, I should be under the 35 recommended mark and right around where I was with Hannah. 
Stretch Marks?  Bad news friends....I found one. A real one this time. Right around my belly button. I can hardly be mad....its my little man growing! No more though, G....seriously. 
Gender? Still boy! 
Movement? Oh yes. Painful movement now. No longer the cute little flutters...this baby is out.of.room. 
Sleep? Not doing so great here. I wake up several times a night and then can't fall back asleep. I hate it when people say "oh get all the rest you can now! Soon you'll have two!" Ummm.....HOW?! Seriously though...how? How do I "stock" up on sleep? And....how do I sleep with one baby kicking the daylights out of me and the other baby running around the house like the crazy little toddler that she is?! 
Food Cravings/Aversions?  I've been continuing to crave lobster tail....despite having lobster approximately 1 other time in my life. G has expensive taste. ;) Also my nightly chocolate milk. No aversions....however, smells are still continuing to bother me again. 
What I Miss? Sleeping on my stomach...actually sleeping in general. (Side note: When I was pregnant with Hannah I remember being SO excited to be able to sleep on my stomach again...however, nobody told me how painful it would be to do that once your milk came in.....) It will be a long while before I get to do that again. 
Symptoms? Heartburn still. I'm trying out a few things recommended to me by some friends so we will see! I heard an old wives tale that heartburn means the baby will have a lot of hair. I definitely have more heartburn than I did with Hannah, so it will be an interesting theory to test. I am also EXHAUSTED. Like, can't make it through the day without 1-2 naps. Luckily I have a toddler that is a pretty good napper, otherwise this Mama would be cray-zee!   Also, contractions, contractions, contractions! I've been having back labor contractions, regular contractions, braxton hicks contractions, cramping...you name it....nothing has been in a pattern or timable...womp womp.....but I can't help but feel like this little guy is going to make his debut a little earlier than predicted. My guess is January 26th, Noah's guess is January 30th....we will see! 
Best Moment of the Week?  Oh you know.....getting the word that I officially GRADUATED from grad school! 
Worst Moment of the Week?  Hmmm.....just being tired. The other night I started crying while making mac and cheese for Hannah because I was just too tired to continue stirring to mix the cheese powder with the noddles. I wish I was kidding. 
What Noah is saying...  "Pack your bags!" "I'm so excited!" .....He's pretty cute. He's been bugging me to pack my hospital bags for a few weeks now. He wants to be fully prepared. He is also crazy excited. He keeps randomly being like "Just think...in a few weeks we will have little baby G sleeping RIGHT.HERE!" He also loves being at the hospital. We had a crazy good time at the hospital when we delivered Hannah. I mean...minus the initial stress and pain....it was such a good memory...hanging out in our post partum room, watching shows, ordering up food and having nothing to do but snuggle our newborn. He's super excited for that experience again.
Other Thoughts? I have a lot of mixed emotions about hitting full term. On one hand, I am crazy excited. I get good butterflies when I think about the possibility of going into labor any minute. It's the best part of pregnancy...I love the suspense and the 'pins and needles' stage where you wake up every morning and the first thing you do is check to see if your water broke or you feel any contractions. I am SO excited and ready to meet this little guy. On the other hand....I get some not-so-good butterflies when I think about what I have to do before and after little G decides to make his arrival. It's not fun friends....and I'm not afraid to admit that I am downright nervous. I also have a checklist of everything I want to get done before G gets here and I'm freaking out that not everything is done. Technically yes....G could come right now and I'd be prepared...but for whatever reason, I feel like he just can't come until I complete my list. 

New Years Resolutions

Ahhh New Years resolutions....I'm not sure if I have ever actually stuck to any of the resolutions I have made throughout the years. But it's always fun to reflect on the last year and think of ways you want to better yourself for the new year.

Here are my SIX New Year resolutions, in no particular order...

1. Learn to use my DSLR camera and learn how to edit pictures for quality. I love taking pictures and capturing precious moments...and I like being creative with my picture taking. BUUUUT, I have no idea what I am doing. I want to learn how to actually use all the features on my camera (no more auto setting!!!) and I'd love to learn how to edit pictures for quality.

2. Set up school for Nana. I have been interested in starting at-home toddler school with Hannah, but have lacked the time to actually sit down and plan it out with all of MY school work. My goal is to work out a schedule and lesson plans and sit down for 1 hour every week day to work with her. She's a little behind, as far as talking goes, but she's starting to pick it up and I'm really hoping that focused energy on her learning will help her. However...I do realize this will be a whole new ball game once our little guy gets here, which is why I'm hoping to get into a routine with her beforehand so that its just part of her schedule.

3. Pay off a specific amount of my student loan. This one just stinks. I have incredible student loans from grad school and its such a tough pill to swallow since I am not actually using that degree...nor do I have plans to use it any time in the near future! But, I'm hoping to get 10-20k paid off in the next year....we will see.

4. Be better about remembering and celebrating friends birthday's. I love all my friends so much, but sometimes my life just gets so busy and I forget to "celebrate" with my friends. I mean...I always remember to send a Facebook message and/or text...but this year I want to take the extra effort to send/give my friends something that takes a little more time and effort to let them know just how much I love them.

5. Put more effort into my appearance. This includes the dreaded "losing the baby weight". I technically was at my pre-baby weight before I got pregnant with G, but my body was not back to its normal shape...so I'm a little worried that this is going to be tough for me. I'd love to focus on getting healthy and back in shape, in addition to actually spending time doing my hair and makeup each day. It's honestly SO hard to gather the motivation to spend an hour doing my hair and makeup when I will be spending my entire day with babies...but I think its important for someone to focus that energy on themselves in order to not become complacent.

6. Stop comparing and worrying about other people's lives. I spend entirely too much time comparing my life and worrying about what other people are doing and not doing. I have an AWESOME life....an attentive and caring husband, a beautiful, smart, funny, sassy daughter, and a little guy (who I can only imagine will be just as handsome and funny as his Daddy) on the way...I can't imagine having a different life, so I have no idea why I would even wish for something more!

Those are my 6 resolutions that I am hoping I will stick to this year! Did any of you make resolutions this year?

Reflecting on 2013

Happy 2014 everyone! We had the BEST year last year, but we are so excited to welcome this new year and see what is in store for us! To celebrate the closing of 2013, I answered some reflection questions...enjoy!

1. What was the single best thing that happened this year?    
     Finding out we were expecting baby #2....and finding out that he was a boy!

      And getting to celebrate our sweet girl's FIRST year!

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
     Working through student teaching and trying to finish up my degree. It was challenging for me to deal with taking time away from being with Hannah.

3. What was an unexpected joy this year?
     Finding an opportunity that allowed me to contribute financially to my family, while being able to stay at home and spend my days with my daughter.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
     Dealing with home improvements! We bought an older home and knew there would be money and time that would need to go into fixing it up, however I was surprised to find out just how much money and time would be needed!

5. Pick 3 words to describe 2013.
     Adjust. Exciting. New.

6. Pick 3 words your spouse would use to describe your 2013.
     Fun. Short. Intense.

7. Pick 3 words your spouse would use to describe 2013.
     Busy. Hardworking. Expensive. ;)

8. What were the best books you read this year?
     Oh goodness...I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't even remember what books I read this past year! I have read some...none stand out as something I would recommend though.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
     My husband...obviously. :) He's been my rock through school challenges, raising our baby, and my pregnancy. Our relationship has become stronger this past year than I ever knew possible.

     My momma. My mom is just kind of amazing. This past year I've found myself reflecting a lot on my mom and how I grew up. I find myself doing things with and for Hannah...or (constantly) worrying about Hannah and it makes me realize how much my mom did/still does for us that I definitely took for granted. Being a mom has made me realize the sacrifices we go through to provide better lives for our children...and its something I never thought of before I had a baby.

     My in-laws. I've always felt like I really lucked out with getting awesome in-laws to share my life with, but I feel even stronger about them this past year. Adding a grand child into the family has made me feel closer to all of them and grateful for the opportunity for Hannah and G to have such a big loving group of aunts, uncles and grandparents.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
      Becoming more confident...specifically in motherhood. I still would like to work on my confidence and self-esteem as a woman, but I feel like my biggest personal change has been that I am completely confident in my abilities to be Hannah's mother. I remember back in May 2012 when we were in the hospital with our brand new baby, I asked a nurse if I could give Hannah a pacifier (I wasn't sure if it was frowned upon for a newborn before they learned to latch for breastfeeding). The nurse looked at me and said "you are her mom...its up to you!". And then when they gave us the 'okay' to leave the hospital and take this new baby home with us, Noah and I looked at each other with a 'wait....where is the baby manual' kind of look. The first 3-5 months were definitely an adjustment period and I second guessed a lot of what I thought was best for Hannah. After Noah and I bought our own house and I had more alone time with Hannah, I started feeling more and more confident in my abilities as a mom. Now, looking back, I kind of can't believe some of the things I went along with or agreed to because someone else recommended it. Without a doubt, I am 100% confident that I am the best mom for my baby girl.

11. In what ways did you grow emotionally?
     Hmm....haha, I'm not sure if I would really classify this as 'growth' but I have definitely become more emotional. Everything makes me emotional (and not just since I've been pregnant ;). I can honestly say this for Noah as well....anything to do with Hannah can make me cry at the drop of a hat.

12. In what ways did you grow spiritually?
      Spiritually, I believe in being the best person you can be. This past year has made me realize how much negative energy goes out into the world when you spend time judging someone and/or bring them down. It's always easy to judge someone else for their actions, looks, etc...but I've realized that until you walk in someone else's shoes, you really don't know.

13. In what ways did you grow physically?
      Hmm...well, I grew smaller...and then I grew bigger again. ;) And, I've actually shrunk about half an inch this year...weird, huh?

14. In what ways did you grow in your relationships with others?
     I've become closer with certain people, and fallen apart with others. Most importantly, I've learned the type of people I want to spend my time with, and I've learned that as we grow older and lives change, its okay to lose touch with friends...its a normal part of growing up and not something to take personally.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?
     We bought our house on December 27, 2012 and spent all day New Years Eve and New Years day moving in...so this whole past year has been about making our house a home. My favorite part has been adjusting this house to fit our needs...and creating two perfect baby spaces for our growing family.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?
     Dealing with the not so fun costs of home improvement. Some of the costs I don't mind because its "fun" improvement. However....spending money for a new fence, to replace a broken water heater (quite possibly in our very near future) etc....are not quite as fun.
     Additionally, its been hard for me to adjust to not being so OCD about cleaning. I despise cluttered spaces and messes...and with the influx of baby toys and toddler (and husband) messes...its been hard for me to just let it go sometimes. Some days I feel like I spent all day cleaning and didn't get to really enjoy some quality time with my family.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
     Honestly...I'd like to say all the time I spent working on school work. Hear me out...I do realize that earning a Master's degree is an incredibly high honor and one that I am so proud to have and tell me kids about someday and to be able to share the importance of education with them. However...I am really disappointed with just how long and how much time it took away from my life this past year. I know school is never a "time waster", but I feel like I could have done things differently to get it done quicker and more efficiently so that I had more time to do the things that are MOST important to me at this point in my life.

18. What was the best way you used your time this year?
     Snuggling, rocking, reading, and singing to Hannah. There have been a handful of times that I have rushed through bed time because I was exhausted or had stuff to do...only to realize later that, that moment, that night will never be one that I can get back. There will come a day when she no longer wants me to rock her to sleep, or likes to hear the sound of my (very bad) voice singing to her....cue those emotional Mama tears I was talking about earlier...Any time I have with just me and Hannah is so special and sacred to me.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this year?
     To be confident and the old phrase "if you want to be happy, be".

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2013 for you.
     Take nothing for granted.